If there is one thing that I can count on with this author it is her innate ability to make me feel. I had to stop numerous times to suck in my breath or wipe a tear as I muttered, "sweet holy hell" just to get my emotions in check. This book hit home to me for a plethora of reasons. I am not sure if it was the timeframe that this was written because I was Toby's age, the music which was all familiar with, or the actual thoughts that Toby experienced. It was all just familiar and it felt like home. As I write that it seems shocking, even for me, considering the heavy undertones of what is in this book. Yet, that is the beauty of books because not everything has to be happy. For me, those periods of my life were both happy and sad. I discovered so much about myself during that time and perhaps that is why I related so well to Toby and the entire story.
"People aren’t perfect. It’s not about loving them when it’s easy and convenient; it’s about loving them, even more, when it’s hard.”
There were so many beautiful portions of this story that truly stole my breath away. The way that the author puts her words into a way that paints a picture is truly awe-inspiring. She manages to capture the feeling of the characters but also in a way that snares the audience in and makes them feel it not only from the character's perspective but as the person experiencing it firsthand.
This story is full of heartbreak, but it is also a story of self-discovery and growth. There is an underlying love story between Alice and Toby but that isn't the basis of this story. Alice is more there to allow Toby to see things in a different way. This is not a story filled with lots of steamy times. Yet, I implore that to not stop someone from reading it. The story is so poignant and beautiful that I didn't even realize that there wasn't any in it.
“Some people aren’t worth fighting for, Toby. You’re not one of them. There are people we meet in this life who anchor us. They reassure us with their presence. They bring us comfort simply by being. They love by osmosis, radiating it out and diffusing it in effortlessly. Quietly, they walk among us, treading lightly but providing stability and influence because it’s second nature. The thing that’s so special about these people is that they don’t even know they’re doing it.”
It offers peace and a new perspective. I struggle quite often with this thing called life and where I fit into it. However, if this book has taught me anything it is that it is okay to struggle. It is how a person comes out on the other side of that struggle and the lessons that are learned that it all makes sense. This author tackled some pretty amazing subjects that need more awareness. I appreciate the dedication to making it both hurt and feel good. She reminded me that people who live with this aren't there to cause pain, in fact, the thought of causing pain to others is repugnant, but rather is one to stop the pain.
“And depression isn’t about weakness, it’s about battling and wanting to deaden the pain, not the person.”
Well done to this author. My hat is off to you. This is a book that altered the template of who I am. I will remember it for a very long time.